


Innocents [Destiel AU]

by bear_cheers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8022142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bear_cheers/pseuds/bear_cheers
Summary: Dean and Castiel have always been close - ever since they were kids, really. So close that their friendship turned into something more, something they thought would last forever. Uncertain feelings, twisted changes and bitter losses get in their way and they fall apart, even though they're still longing for each other years later. So when Castiel meets Dean in a donut shop and all the love and longing he's felt for him comes back, they both agree to give their relationship one more chance. Behind Dean's fiancée back.





	Innocents [Destiel AU]

_now_

He wakes up when a cold breeze brushes his bare arm and he shudders, rolling sleepily on his back. He stretches his arm to the left part of the bed, expecting to feel his lover’s body heat. He finds nothing but the empty bed, the wrinkled sheets, and he sighs, reality striking him like every other morning: Dean is gone. He left him. And he’s not coming back. Castiel opens his eyes slowly, glancing at the pillow on his left, imagining Dean is laying there, with his dark blond hair and sweet green eyes looking lovingly into his. He pushes away the blanket, his feet touching the cool wood tiles, and winces at the quietness of his apartment. 

He walks down the hallway, to the kitchen, and the snow outside is falling slowly, silencing the city rush. And Castiel hates silence, because he can still hear his voice, echoing through the halls and whispering in his room, deep and dark with lust or fragile and soft with love. Castiel hates it, he hates that he can still feel his hands on his body, wrapping around his waist while he’s making coffee, or his lips on his neck, light kisses peppering his skin. He hates it because he knows he won’t get them back, he won’t get Dean back, because, as far as he knows, _Dean is engaged_. With a _woman_. Castiel scoffs, a coffee cup in his hand as he makes his way back to the bedroom. He turns the lights on, squinting his eyes at the sudden change, and he sips from the coffee with a frown. He looks at the clock on his nightstand and presses his lips into a line. He woke up earlier than yesterday. These past days, he’s begun to wake up at unusually early hours for a man his age: 5 o’clock, then 4:30, then 4, and now 3:30 am. 

His shoulders drop at the thought of laying in bed again and he puts the cup on his desk, moving slowly toward the closet to pick out clothes for today. He knows it’s too early to go to work – or to do anything, really – but nothing’s stopping him from taking a walk through his neighborhood, maybe even stopping at that nice Dunkin’ Donuts near 23rd Street where the barista is extra nice with him. He pulls a grey sweater over his head and puts on some dark pants, wrapping a grey scarf around his neck and pulling a soft beanie on his head. He takes one more sip from his coffee, putting on his boots, and grabs his keys and phone from the desk. He turns off the light in his bedroom, almost hearing Dean’s quiet question floating in the air, “ _Where’re you going, Cas?_ ”, and opens the apartment door slowly, stepping in the frozen hallway. The automatic lights blink at his movements and he locks the door, slipping the keys into his pocket. His neighbors are asleep, without a doubt, so he takes the stairs, not wanting to wake them up with the huffs and puffs of the old elevator. 

As he makes his way down the stairs, he remembers Dean’s hand around his, his breath tickling his cheeks, his hand over his mouth to prevent the drunk chuckles from coming out. He shakes his head, his thoughts lingering on Dean’s rosy cheeks and his glazed eyes, and then he pushes the front door, walking out in the cold December air. His breath freezes and he pulls his scarf over his lips and nose, looking up at the dark sky. Snowflakes fall slowly and silently, shining in the dim ray of a light pole, the light pole he and Dean kissed ages ago. 

_Too many memories_ , he thinks as he starts walking down 25th Street, the snow creaking beneath his feet as he makes his way through the sleepy city. He can almost feel Dean walking beside him, his breath curling in frozen spirals and his arm brushing against Castiel’s. He walks faster, trying to leave that unhealthy illusion of Dean behind him, focusing on the present. He’s already halfway down Louisiana St. and the picture of a hot vanilla tea is swirling in his mind. 

In the silence of this December morning ( _night?_ ), one song keeps creeping in Castiel’s head, soft tunes dancing in the back of his memory, bugging him because he can’t remember the song. He knows he’s heard it somewhere, somewhere where he was with Dean – he can feel the warmth of his hand around his waist. Before he can grab the vibes, he finds himself in front of the donut shop, the _DD_ glowing happily above his head. He sighs in the scarf and pushes the door, the air filled with sweet aromas swelling his heart. He sees the barista – Balthazar – and smiles at him, his frozen cheeks protesting underneath his skin. Balthazar is leaning on the counter, with one hand under his chin, but as soon as he sees Castiel, he straightens himself and throws him a glowing smile. 

“Welcome to Dunkin’ Donuts,” he says gleefully despite the early hour. “What can I get ya?” Castiel walks over to him, his eyes scanning the donuts in the showcase. “I think _Snowy_ is a good choice for this weather,” he says with a quirk of the mouth as he looks at Balthazar. “ _Snowy_ it is,” he picks up a white iced donut and puts it on a carton plate, handing it over to Castiel. “Anything else?” he asks, his blue eyes following Castiel. “Vanilla tea, please,” he responds quietly and turns toward a table, pulling out a chair and setting the donut down. “So, what brings you here, so early in the morning?” Balthazar asks, and Castiel’s eyes crinkle in a bitter smile, Dean’s voice covering Balthazar’s as he remembers the same words spoken to him almost a decade ago.

_age 15_

“What’re doing here, so early in the morning?” Dean asks, leaning over the counter to smile at Castiel. “Your shift ends in five,” he says simply, his brilliant blue eyes glinting excitedly. “No, silly, my _break_ is in five,’ Dean corrects him quietly, glancing behind Castiel to check if there are people waiting in line. _No one_ , Dean grins and takes Castiel’s hand over the counter, jumping over it and dragging Castiel to the back room. “How was your shift?” Castiel asks him in a soft tone after the door is shut behind them and they are alone in the tiny dark room. “Hard,” Dean shrugs and feels Castiel’s fingers tracing over his palm in a soothing gesture. Castiel chuckles and leans toward Dean, facing up just the tiniest bit to kiss at Dean’s neck. “I don’t understand why so many people come here at six in the morning,” Castiel says lowly with his lips on Dean’s pulse point, and Dean knows he can feel it race like crazy. 

Yeah, Cas has that effect on him. 

“Cas,” Dean chokes out and one hand reaches to Castiel’s hip. Castiel hums and moves his lips father up on Dean’s neck until Dean’s heavy breath lands on his eyelids. “I’ve missed you,” Castiel says just before covering Dean’s mouth with his own, swallowing the surprised gasp Dean makes. Dean’s hands somehow end up in Castiel’s hair, and he tilts his head so he can get a better taste of him. Castiel breathes out a small laugh in the kiss and hangs his arms loosely around Dean’s neck, his fingers scratching gently at Dean’s scalp. “What’s funny?” Dean mumbles on Castiel’s lips, making Castiel smile, his teeth grazing softly over Dean’s lips. “We are such a cliché, like a movie couple,” he whispers amused and his leg jerks up, settling between Dean’s thighs. 

“Cas,” Dean whimpers again and pouts, leaning his forehead on Castiel’s. “You don’t get me hard when I’m at work,” Dean whispers and Castiel throws him a smirk, but calms down, resuming to following Dean with those deep blue eyes that are shining calmingly in the dark. They just listen to each other’s breathing, and it’s so lovely and soothing that Dean feels he could stop time and stay forever in that moment. Of course, that’s not possible, because a man voice flows through the crack of the door, “Anyone here?” 

Castiel sighs, closing his eyes in defeat, “Can’t I have a moment with my boyfriend?” Dean's smile falls just the slightest bit, but he presses a kiss on Castiel’s lips, withdrawing from his body warmth. “I’ll see you later,” Dean whispers before he opens the door, the ugly neon light creeping in the room. “Bye, Dean," Castiel drawls out just as Dean is saying, “Good morning, how can I help you?” As the man orders a coffee, Dean follows Castiel with the corner of his eye, watching as he opens the door of the pastry shop, giving him a shining smile before he steps outside in the cool morning air. Dean’s heart already aches with longing. 

_now_

“Work’s keeping you up?” Balthazar asks as he puts down Castiel’s vanilla tea and then pulls out the other chair, sitting down. “Can I…?” Balthazar points at himself and the chair and Castiel nods, taking a sip from his tea. “And no, it’s not work,” Castiel says, putting down the cup. “It’s, uh, memories, I guess.” Castiel doesn’t even know what it is that steals his sleep every night, but all he knows is that when he closes his eyes, he sees _Dean_. Turns out he misses him more than he thought. “Hm,” Balthazar scoffs. “That sucks.” Castiel shrugs, “I guess.” An awkward silence falls over them, the steady beep-beep-beep of the coffee maker machine stuffing the sweet air. 

“So, are you a full-time employee here? ‘Cause I always see you here when I take my coffee for work,” Castiel says in an attempt to make polite conversation. Balthazar’s eyes lit up when Castiel speaks to him and he answers excitedly, “I usually take the night shifts and the early mornings, so Michael – the other guy that works here – takes the afternoons. So I’m free from eight in the morning ‘til five.” He winks and Castiel feels his cheeks heat up, pinning his gaze on the table and sketching a shy smile. It’s been so long since someone’s shown any romantic interest in him, he doesn’t know how to receive or react to flirts anymore. He clears his throat and raises his eyes from the table, deciding to dive right into it. He feels blush spreading underneath his scarf. “Do you, by any chance, would like to…go to a movie with me?” 

His words are stumbled, his voice weak and unsure – Castiel doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. Sure, this Balthazar has been serving him with coffee, donuts and smirks for almost two years now, but Castiel never imagined that he might be flirting with him. _Maybe I got it wrong_ , Castiel thinks, panicked, when he sees Balthazar’s eyes go wide. _Maybe he doesn’t swing my way._ He feels like he wants to punch himself: stupid, stupid, stupid. But Balthazar, after a moment of staring speechlessly at a squirmy Castiel, grins widely and snickers, “I thought you’d never ask.” Castiel breathes out in relief, the tension that has been clenching his chest gone. “Does Saturday sound good?” Castiel asks him with a smile, following Balthazar as he takes a napkin and a pen and writes down his number. “For sure,” he says, sliding the scribbled napkin over to Castiel. “Call me, okay?” Castiel nods, staring incredulously at the piece of paper as Balthazar gets up and goes behind the counter. 

_Did that really happen?_

Castiel is dancing in his mind, a large smile on his lips as he finishes his donut and pays for his order. 

_Am I having a date?_

He walks out in the cold air, pulling his scarf over his lower face to hide his grin. 

_How long has it been?_

He’s strolling down Louisiana St., humming happily in the silence of the city. 

_Four years._

He stops in his tracks, his voice fading as his mind processes the all-too-well known fact. 

_It’s been four years since I spoke to Dean?_

He starts walking again, with lazy and slow footsteps. 

_Four years already? Oh, crap._

He huffs out a breath. 

_I haven’t seen Sam in ages._

His pace quickens as his thoughts race, and before he’s aware, he’s standing under the light pole in front of his apartment complex. He smiles weakly as he pictures twenty-one year-old Dean and Castiel under that exact pole, identical sweet smiles on their faces, holding hands and – 

No. 

Dean is gone. And he’s not coming back. Not for him. 

Castiel shakes his head and turns his back to the light pole, walking toward the front door and searching his pockets for the keys. He finds them and, with frozen fingers, takes a good grasp on the equally frozen handler, cracking the door open, when a voice stops him. A voice that is so painfully familiar, it makes his chest heavy. 

“Excuse me, uh, I'm looking for Village 1 Apartments?" 

He turns around with slow motions, and he sees a person standing a few feet in front of him, in the halo of a streetlamp. Strong jaw line, high cheekbones, warm green eyes. _He still looks the same._ Maybe with longer hair and just a bit taller. 

No, he’s not the same. He’s not the same seventeen year old teenager he was when Castiel left. Those dark circles weren’t there last time, and that gold band on his finger wasn’t there. His brows weren’t so drawn together and the fearful surprise that is now sketched in his sharp features wasn’t there. Castiel opens his mouth slowly, and just a brief whisper freezes in the air. “Sam?” 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: 10-41-am


End file.
